JOB APPLICATION: GOVERNOR'S CRONY
Do you enjoy gourmet food and fine wine? Do you have a talent for squandering money on lavish parties and a bunch of useless junk? Are you morally flexible enough to bend Texas' most important ethics rule?
Governor Rick Perry wants YOU.
With Phil Wilson's $80,000 payout and promotion to Secretary of State, Governor Perry's office has an opening for a new political Crony. Responsibilities include:
* Selling access to the governor,
* Attending sold-out sporting events like the Super Bowl and the NBA Finals,
* Eating at 5-star restaurants,
* Staying at luxurious hotels.
* Pocketing an extra corporate paycheck from the TexasOne slush fund.
For a more detailed job description, read the Dallas Morning News articles here and here.
To apply, please complete the following application and cover letter, and the Texas Democratic Party will deliver your crony job application, signed only with your first name and hometown, to Rick Perry's office. Who knows--you just might end up with the cushiest part-time job in Texas!
The Honorable Rick Perry
Office of the Governor
State Insurance Building
1100 San Jacinto
Austin, TX 78701
Dear Governor Perry,
I am writing to apply for the position of Crony, to be paid with both taxpayer money and corporate cash from TexasOne. I understand that with the recent departure of Phil Wilson, your organization has big, expensive, custom-made Justin's boots to fill. Let me assure you that I am supremely qualified to fill them. My background and lack of work experience fit perfectly with your organization's needs and culture.
I have a deep passion for (selling) Texas. I enjoy attending premier sporting events. I find spending the night at fancy hotels and drinking heavily an important part of any job. I like to cozy up to corporate bigwigs. And I really enjoy being paid ridiculous amounts of money.
I'm eager to become Rick Perry's latest toady and would like to discuss the opportunities you have in there in the Governor's Office.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Action Center
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